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Do You Like Your Life?

My clients tend to share the same issue. Despite the circumstances, the people or events involved, they’re unhappy with one or more aspects of their life. Surprisingly, their issue is not the circumstances, or the people or events. The problem they run into is using a strategy that is doomed to fail. What is it? Trying to change someone else. What can work? It can be life changing when you begin to devote some of that time and energy changing others to changing yourself. Do you like your life? I came across this dilemma when working in a hospital. It was not uncommon for some patients to want to not go home. At first I thought I must be wrong. Surely if you’re in a psychiatric hosp

What's the most important skill to have in a relationship?

Many of us have the idea that the ideal relationship is one without conflict. When we think about the level of conflict in our own relationship, we see our arguing as evidence that something is wrong. Usually it’s our partner who is doing something wrong and if they could just see the error of their ways, it'd all be fine. If things get so bad that eventually we seek professional help, what usually happens is that we then attempt to enlist the therapist in our efforts to make our partner see where they are going wrong. "Now the professional' can tell you what I've been saying for years!" Rifts in a relationship are normal and healthy (yes.. healthy!). The most important thing is to not to

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